In economics there is a theory called the diminishing returns theory. It says that in many activities there comes a point where doing more and more of the same thing produces less and less of the desired result. As a nightclub promoter I learned that this applies in pickup also. Let me show you how.
For the new guys out there you will want to learn the fundamentals of how to generate attraction by conveying attractive qualities through storytelling, bantering with the girl, role playing, etc. When you start to learn pickup and you get into conversations about relationships, sex, attraction, exciting experiences it is like having a magic power. You can generate attraction in more women then you ever could before and you can start dating out of your league.
So what happens? You want to become better so you think the answer is to learn more and more interesting stories, role plays, ways of teasing girls, etc. Eventually you come to find out that your rate of success with women is not increasing in proportion to the amount of work you put into your personality, appearance, etc.
Let me suggest that once you are moderately good at the fundamental skills of conversation, storytelling and teasing you don't put huge amounts of time into sharpening these skills. Instead, start to focus on effective ways to deal with women's objections and resistance to talking to you. In other words focus on persistance, overcoming her objections and getting your own way in a graceful manner.
This does not mean be an obnoxious jerk and try to physically force her to continue talking to her. What it does mean is don't be a pushover - if she trys to leave in the first minute of the interaction stick your hand out and introduce yourself, if you have been talking for 3 or 4 minutes don't continue with your stories and teasing! Instead, suggest that she come with you for coffee, tea, etc. If she can't then go for the number close. You will be surprised at how easy it will be to get it.
An important thesis of mine is that guys can close interactions in a lot less time than they think they can. Don't try to convey 15 minutes of stories to a girl you just met on the street or in the grocery store. After 4-5 minutes say "It was great talking to you but I have to get back to what I was doing. You seem pretty cool, why don't you give me your number and we can continue chatting another time."
Remember ABC - Always Be Closing!
Thursday, July 12, 2007
What I Mean By "Control"
When I say that "control" is the key, missing element that is not being taught in many pickup systems what exactly do I mean by that word "control"? I mean that you have to anticipate and know how to properly deal with resistance and objections from the girl. Don't take resistance and objections personally, they are just natural reactions.
Let's look at a video example of what I am talking about.
At first glance it appears that this girl was open and very receptive to this gentleman's approach and direct compliment. You are probably thinking "I wish all girls were as friendly and nice as this one!"
But look deeper and you will see that this is NOT the case. 5 seconds into the interaction the girl says I have to go cross the street. Then the gentleman says "No you don't" and sticks out his hand for a handshake and introduces himself. A few seconds later the girl says she has a boyfriend but the gentleman rolls with this too and makes a joke of it.
What does this illustrate? That no matter how great the line is you have to be prepared to convince girls not to walk away 5 seconds into the interaction. A handshake and introduction when they try to go is a good way to keep them talking.
Let me give you another example. Let's discuss how this concept of using physical control. Let's take a common example that I saw all the time when I was a nightclub promoter. Imagine you are at a bar or a nightclub and you see two women standing at the bar facing each other and talking to one another.
Now you could go over and stand near them and deliver your opening line and hope they turn around. I don't like relying on "hope" in pickups! A better approach is to start controlling the interaction even before you deliver your opening like. You can lightly touch them on the shoulder before talking or you can jut your hand in between them for a second to get their attention.
When you do these things smile a bit and have good, cool energy so they know you are going to grab them.
As you use learn to control interactions and overcome obstacles and resistance you will see that this idea applies at all stages of the pickup. In other posts we'll discuss how you position yourself and others in mixed groups, how you position yourself when you want to approach girls that are sitting down and you are standing and effective ways to isloate your target from her friends so you can have a more private conversation.
Hint: these things are not about being so clever and interesting that she volunteers to stand up, leave her friends and walk away with you. It is about you controling and leading the interaction to your desired outcome.
Let's look at a video example of what I am talking about.
At first glance it appears that this girl was open and very receptive to this gentleman's approach and direct compliment. You are probably thinking "I wish all girls were as friendly and nice as this one!"
But look deeper and you will see that this is NOT the case. 5 seconds into the interaction the girl says I have to go cross the street. Then the gentleman says "No you don't" and sticks out his hand for a handshake and introduces himself. A few seconds later the girl says she has a boyfriend but the gentleman rolls with this too and makes a joke of it.
What does this illustrate? That no matter how great the line is you have to be prepared to convince girls not to walk away 5 seconds into the interaction. A handshake and introduction when they try to go is a good way to keep them talking.
Let me give you another example. Let's discuss how this concept of using physical control. Let's take a common example that I saw all the time when I was a nightclub promoter. Imagine you are at a bar or a nightclub and you see two women standing at the bar facing each other and talking to one another.
Now you could go over and stand near them and deliver your opening line and hope they turn around. I don't like relying on "hope" in pickups! A better approach is to start controlling the interaction even before you deliver your opening like. You can lightly touch them on the shoulder before talking or you can jut your hand in between them for a second to get their attention.
When you do these things smile a bit and have good, cool energy so they know you are going to grab them.
As you use learn to control interactions and overcome obstacles and resistance you will see that this idea applies at all stages of the pickup. In other posts we'll discuss how you position yourself and others in mixed groups, how you position yourself when you want to approach girls that are sitting down and you are standing and effective ways to isloate your target from her friends so you can have a more private conversation.
Hint: these things are not about being so clever and interesting that she volunteers to stand up, leave her friends and walk away with you. It is about you controling and leading the interaction to your desired outcome.
Welcome To My Blog on How To Succeed With Women
My name is Bobby Bach and I am a former nightclub promoter in NYC.
Why did I start this blog? Because my buddies told me that my method of picking up beautiful women contained ideas that were not being taught by any of the pickup gurus and that I needed to publicly post this stuff before it fell by the wayside.
Also, I started the blog because I enjoy talking about the game and it helps me to analyze and bring to the surface ideas and techniques that I have been naturally using for years. In other words by helping your game I also get to help my own game -- and I enjoy both of those things.
So what is unqiue about this blog? Sure we'll cover the stuff that you need to know like how to effectively open conversations, how to tell interesting stories that generate attraction and how to bust on women. But, in my opinion, none of these things are the critical element of a pickup.
What is the critical element? It is control. Look, I am going to be direct with you - you can have the best stories and material in the world but if you can't get a woman to start a conversation with you or keep her from walking away once you start talking then you are never going to get the chance to show her what a great guy you are.
Anybody that has been in the game for any length of time knows that the most beautiful and most desirable women can be the most difficult to open. You also know that the key to opening these beautiful women is not to develop better material. The key is to take control of the interaction from the very begining. And I am going to show you how to do it.
The main model I operate from is what I call the 3 Magic C's - Control, connect and close. I am going to also be talking about other topics that are important like body language, generating sexual interest in a woman and how to rapidly escalate and close an interaction.
The Magic C's also work for day game but with some small modifications. I'll also be covering day game so that guys who don't go to nightclubs can also learn this method and get dramatic success with women.
Why did I start this blog? Because my buddies told me that my method of picking up beautiful women contained ideas that were not being taught by any of the pickup gurus and that I needed to publicly post this stuff before it fell by the wayside.
Also, I started the blog because I enjoy talking about the game and it helps me to analyze and bring to the surface ideas and techniques that I have been naturally using for years. In other words by helping your game I also get to help my own game -- and I enjoy both of those things.
So what is unqiue about this blog? Sure we'll cover the stuff that you need to know like how to effectively open conversations, how to tell interesting stories that generate attraction and how to bust on women. But, in my opinion, none of these things are the critical element of a pickup.
What is the critical element? It is control. Look, I am going to be direct with you - you can have the best stories and material in the world but if you can't get a woman to start a conversation with you or keep her from walking away once you start talking then you are never going to get the chance to show her what a great guy you are.
Anybody that has been in the game for any length of time knows that the most beautiful and most desirable women can be the most difficult to open. You also know that the key to opening these beautiful women is not to develop better material. The key is to take control of the interaction from the very begining. And I am going to show you how to do it.
The main model I operate from is what I call the 3 Magic C's - Control, connect and close. I am going to also be talking about other topics that are important like body language, generating sexual interest in a woman and how to rapidly escalate and close an interaction.
The Magic C's also work for day game but with some small modifications. I'll also be covering day game so that guys who don't go to nightclubs can also learn this method and get dramatic success with women.
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