What I Mean By "Control"

When I say that "control" is the key, missing element that is not being taught in many pickup systems what exactly do I mean by that word "control"? I mean that you have to anticipate and know how to properly deal with resistance and objections from the girl. Don't take resistance and objections personally, they are just natural reactions.

Let's look at a video example of what I am talking about.

At first glance it appears that this girl was open and very receptive to this gentleman's approach and direct compliment. You are probably thinking "I wish all girls were as friendly and nice as this one!"

But look deeper and you will see that this is NOT the case. 5 seconds into the interaction the girl says I have to go cross the street. Then the gentleman says "No you don't" and sticks out his hand for a handshake and introduces himself. A few seconds later the girl says she has a boyfriend but the gentleman rolls with this too and makes a joke of it.

What does this illustrate? That no matter how great the line is you have to be prepared to convince girls not to walk away 5 seconds into the interaction. A handshake and introduction when they try to go is a good way to keep them talking.

Let me give you another example. Let's discuss how this concept of using physical control. Let's take a common example that I saw all the time when I was a nightclub promoter. Imagine you are at a bar or a nightclub and you see two women standing at the bar facing each other and talking to one another.

Now you could go over and stand near them and deliver your opening line and hope they turn around. I don't like relying on "hope" in pickups! A better approach is to start controlling the interaction even before you deliver your opening like. You can lightly touch them on the shoulder before talking or you can jut your hand in between them for a second to get their attention.

When you do these things smile a bit and have good, cool energy so they know you are going to grab them.

As you use learn to control interactions and overcome obstacles and resistance you will see that this idea applies at all stages of the pickup. In other posts we'll discuss how you position yourself and others in mixed groups, how you position yourself when you want to approach girls that are sitting down and you are standing and effective ways to isloate your target from her friends so you can have a more private conversation.

Hint: these things are not about being so clever and interesting that she volunteers to stand up, leave her friends and walk away with you. It is about you controling and leading the interaction to your desired outcome.